When dealing with small children, there are many questions of when should they reach certain milestones, and at what age should they be able to do certain things, etc. These are common things that as parents we all ask. Even if we already have children because each child is different and develops at their own pace.
Our youngest son wasn’t necessarily moving along on some of the developmental milestones that have been developed for parents to follow. He wasn’t speaking in two to three word phrases at 15 months old and that was our biggest concern. We took him to the Children’s Mercy Hospital in our city to be tested for developmental delays. After his appointment, the answer they gave us was- well he is somewhat delayed but not more than 50%. They went on to say, more than anything he is just being lazy. He does what he wants when he wants and because of this, he did not qualify for any type of services.
I wasn’t so sure that their conclusion about our son was correct. This in turn led me on a quest to do whatever I could to help him form his words and stimulate his learning in order to cultivate conversation. I went to Wal-Mart and bought all kinds of flashcards-ones with pictures, colors, shapes, letters, and numbers. What I found about our son was, even though he wasn’t doing much talking, he was very inquisitive and you could see it all his face. He also wasn’t afraid to touch or explore things. When I brought the flashcards home and showed them to him, he immediately started methodically going through each set carefully studying what was on them. I made it a point everyday to spend some time with him going over the cards. It became a regular routine that I could tell he thoroughly enjoyed.
Initially, I would just go through the cards, show it to him, point to it, and then say what it was. Not long after we started this, he would begin to say the answers with me. He eventually could say all of the answers on each set of cards. This happened fairly quickly. At first I thought, especially with the number and letter cards that he had just memorized them because I always kept them in order. So I decided, I would mix things up a bit and put all of the cards into one big stack. Before I knew it, he was yelling out the answers each time I presented him with a card even though they were all mixed up. It became sort of a game to us. I would quickly present him with a card, and he would quickly yell out the answer waiting for me to move on to the next one. We would finish the huge deck and he would gleefully yell, “Again!”
Some months later when he had turned two, he still was not talking much. Although we were grateful that we could tell that he at least had the capacity to learn; we could not understand why he was still using a limited amount of two and three word phrases, and not talking in complete sentences. My husband and I both were working for the City in which we live and we wore our badges to work. One morning when dropping him off to the baby sitter’s house, as my husband was getting him out of his carseat to take him in, he pointed to his badge and said, “Kansas City.” My husband looked over at me in the front seat and said, “Nikki, this boy just read my badge!” Of course, I didn’t believe him so he pointed to his badge, looked at our son and said, “What is this?” He again said, “Kansas City.”
Talk about astonishment! Who would think that a baby who doesn’t even speak in complete sentences would be able to read! We told the baby sitter and by the time we had picked him up that evening, they had him reading different sentences from the local newspaper! Not long after that, my sister-in-law who lives in New York came to town to visit. She was studying natural medicines and she had a Hindu medicine book with her. We were telling her about him being able to read and later on that day, he was reading words from her book and even pronouncing them correctly! It was surreal.
This went on for months. He increasingly got better at reading, but there was not much progress on his talking. It got to the point where we took one of our older kid’s children’s dictionary, would give him a word and tell him to find it. He would start thumbing through the dictionary and methodically go through the dictionary using the method of alphabetical order until he found the word, would point to the word and then say it! This was something that we never taught him. We were just amazed!
I began to inquire and ask of God, “What is this? How is he reading but not yet talking?” God had showed me months earlier in a dream that one day he would be talking my head off, but of course I had not yet seen that come to fruition. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 1:5 KJV, ” A wise man will hear, and will increase learning, and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.”
There are many people we can consult about our issues in life, but how many of us ever think to inquire of God first? The Bible tells us that God is Omniscient. He knows all, understands all, and his insight is infinite. He would certainly have more insight than anyone regarding what was going on with our son. How do I know this? In Jeremiah 1:5a KJV, it says,”Before I formed thee in the belly I Knew thee.” And in Psalm 139:13-14 NIV, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Who better to ask than my Creator?
I am reminded that in Matthew 7:7-11 KJV Jesus says, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone of you that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him?”
God desires for us to inquire of Him. He desires to let us know that He cares about the things that we face, whether it be big or little. He tells us that if we ask, the answer will be given; if we seek the answer, we will find it; and if we knock on the door inquiring of Him, that He will open it. I believe He tells us this because not only does He want to give us his children good things, but He also desires to have relationship with us. Inquiring of God cultivates conversation with God. It cultivates trust with God.
My quest to find the answers for our son, caused me to spend time with God and trust Him like never before. It caused me to not lean on my own understanding of the situation. After asking God this question and praying about it, I begin to question in my mind is he gifted or does he have autism? The end result is another story for another day, however, I believe that God planted those thoughts in my mind. The Bible tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 KJV, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”
This implies that God is thinking thoughts toward us not of us. Why would God be thinking thoughts toward us? Could it be that He wants us to catch his thoughts in a moment of quiet time spent with Him? Did God answer my question directly or did He give me a foundation to start with? I believe it was the latter of the two.
Summing it all up in one word may have given me the answer I was looking for, but it would not have given me the foundation that I am using today to speak to you about how your relationship with God is the gateway to the knowledge you seek. Nor would it have given me the confidence I now have when speaking with doctors, administrators, or teachers concerning our son and his needs. It took years of research on my own, coupled with the unctioning of the Holy Spirit to seek the proper path to get the correct diagnosis for our son. It has equipped me with the tools that I have garnered to help other parents in this journey.
Please, don’t miss the opportunity to seek answers from the only One who has all the answers. “Howbeit, when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak; and he will shew you things to come,” John 16:13 KJV. Whatever answers you seek, whatever truth you need to hear concerning your child, the Holy Spirit will lead you to it.
I pray God’s grace be with you as you seek out the answers you desire concerning your child.
Your Sister in Christ,
Nikki