After researching things on my own for several years, I felt that it was time that we try to get a diagnosis for our youngest son who had been exhibiting behaviors that greatly impeded his learning in the classroom.
As he was entering the third grade, we made the decision to switch him from private Christian school to public school. Partly because the private school he had been attending had closed permanently and also for financial reasons. We had prayed for Godly administrators and teachers to be placed around him as God had instructed us to do and found that the teacher that he was assigned was in fact, a Godly woman, and came highly recommended by other parents. I also found that the school counselor happened to be one of my childhood friends. I felt that we were off to a good start.
As the school year began, he seemed to be adjusting well and there weren’t any major behavior issues to speak of. But as he got more comfortable with his environment, his old behaviors started to show back up. There were times when he became disruptive in the classroom that he would be asked to go out in the hall and stand against the wall until he could calm down and get back on task. Whatever the desired result was supposed to be, the exact opposite happened. It would become a game to him and he would defiantly walk back into the classroom. His teacher would place him back in the hall against the wall and would lock the door. This only infuriated him and caused him to bang and kick the door and scream let me back in!
Of course you know that didn’t go over well. He would either get sent to the Principal’s office or to the Counselor’s office to do a “think sheet” and discuss how he was feeling and how he could change his behavior. This happened repeatedly. One day though, the situation escalated tremendously. When asked to go the Counselor’s office he refused and so the Counselor came down to get him from the classroom. He refused to go so she literally had to hold his hand and pull him along while he was kicking and screaming. It soon became apparent that she would not be able to handle him alone. So with the help of another teacher, he was taken to the Principal’s office. He kept trying to run back to his classroom so they barred the door and that sent him into a frenzy.
Soon I received a phone call from the school asking that someone come pick him up for the day. As I was speaking to the Principal on the phone, I could literally hear my child in the background screaming to let him out! I assured the Principal that either myself of my husband would come to pick him up and we were so sorry for his behavior.
My husband picked him up and I arrived at the school a short time after and spoke with the Principal. He stated that he had never seen a child act like that and that he was gravely concerned. He wanted to know what the school could do to help because if it continued, he would have no choice but to suspend him from school. I told him that we were trying to get him in at Children’s Mercy for another appointment with a psychologist to address his behaviors and asked that they please work with us as much as possible to resolve these issues. He stated that they do have rules to follow but that he would do his best. I thanked him and left.
Unable to get our son in right away to Children’s Mercy because of the waiting list. We found another psychologist for him to see on the other side of the state line that was covered by our insurance. We took him to several visits with her and would sit and watch her interact with him and ask him certain questions. He was always cooperative when going to these types of visits because he was receiving individual attention from the doctors and us; and also he got to leave school early and eat lunch out with us.
At what we deemed the final session with her, she stated that she had reached a conclusion for a diagnosis. When we asked what that was, she stated that it was clear to her that he had Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). We both were particularly interested in how she had arrived at this conclusion. She responded by saying that he was a very active young man and that she notices that every time he comes into her office, that he has to touch EVERYTHING. My husband and I both just sat there for a moment and then said, “No. That’s not it. We don’t agree with you.” She stated that it was perfectly fine if we didn’t agree with her, that sometimes it takes some time to digest but that is what she would be putting on her report. We thanked her for her time and decided that we would move on and get a second opinion.
We eventually did get our son in to see a different psychologist at Children’s Mercy. He ran a battery of tests and told us that he had reached a conclusion. He stated that our son’s IQ was high when it came to math and spatial intelligence, but that it was somewhat lower when it came to reading comprehension. He stated that he has tested some high-schoolers who were unable to use spatial reasoning at the level that our son did. He stated, with that being said, he believed that he had something called Impulsivity Disorder. When asked how did he reach that conclusion. He stated that when giving our son a test that asked him to push a button at a specific time, he overwhelmingly was inclined to push the button before he was told to do so.
While I was not totally convinced that this was the proper diagnosis either, it was the one that we had received thus far that I was more inclined to believe. Yet, it still did not sit right with my spirit, it did not seem like to me that this was the definitive answer that we had been hoping for. From my years of research, I was convinced that our son was either gifted or had Autism. I began to seek out where I could have Giftedness testing done to either say that was it or rule it out.
I found a doctor in Overland Park, KS who could do the testing we needed. The cost was $500 and at the time we didn’t have the money. We waited until our flex spending account renewed and scheduled the testing. Eager as always to go, our son accompanied me to his session. The doctor first asked me a series of questions as to why I believed that our son was gifted. As I answered her questions, I also added that I suspected that if it was not Giftedness it may be High-Functioning Autism. She offered to add an Asperger’s component to the testing as a supplement for no additional charge. I happily obliged.
We received his test results back in about a week’s time. The end result that was that his IQ fell a few points shy of him being diagnosed with Giftedness. She stated that he tested extremely high in every area except reading comprehension and that was the area that caused him to fall shy of the diagnosis. She did state, however, that the Asperger’s component came back as highly likely that he was on the Autism Spectrum. Finally! A step closer to determining what we were dealing with so that we could get our son the help that he needed.
In light of this new and promising information, I quickly scheduled an appointment with our primary care pediatrician. Provided her with the report from our son’s giftedness testing and asked for her thoughts. After reading the report she said, I’m inclined to agree that it is highly likely that he is on the Autism spectrum. She suggested that we either go to Children’s Mercy or KU Medical Center to have him evaluated for being on the Autism Spectrum. We had already been down the Children’s Mercy path to no avail. I could get no one there to say he had Autism though I had felt for a while that that is what it was. So I chose to go to KU Medical Center.
Have you ever felt so strongly about something concerning your child but could not receive the confirmation that you needed? Sometimes, we need not seek confirmation elsewhere but instead, seek it from God. I knew in my spirit that my child was on the Autism Spectrum. All the research I had done and God was leading me down that path the whole time. I didn’t know it at the time, but it helped me to know my child so well that I was able to effectively advocate for him and our oldest son in ways that I wouldn’t have imagined.
Fight for your child at all costs, and don’t let the first diagnosis you receive be the one you accept if you feel in your heart that it is not correct. Pray for Godly wisdom in the matter, and God will give it to you. “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him”, James 1:5. Research what’s going on with your child so that you can draw comparisons to what they are saying and what you are seeing. Take the natural wisdom you have gained with the Godly wisdom God has given you and merge the two into one.
Never underestimate the wisdom that God gives you. Embrace that while you may not have all of the answers, you have enough to make informed decisions that will ultimately work out for the best interest of your child. Take God with you and trust God every step of the way for you are not alone. “Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest”, Joshua 1:9.
If God is with you, how can you fail?
Yours In Christ,
Nikki