When our youngest son was born, I knew that his temperament was one of extreme sensitivity and irritability. In the first few hours of his life, he seemed quite fussy. He cried a lot and nothing seemed to soothe him. I remember trying to breastfeed him but he screamed so incessantly, that he never quite figured out that had he stopped screaming for a just a second, he had a meal waiting for him. After two weeks of trying to no avail, I finally relented and broke down and fed him a combination of either breastmilk or formula from a bottle.
Those first few months were very stressful for my husband and myself. As parents of a newborn, it can be a lot to deal with just trying to figure out when your baby cries what does it mean? But even more so, when you have done all of the obvious things like change their diaper, make sure they are fed, burp them, put them down for a nap, or even hold them and nothing seems to work.
All of his doctor visits seem to go well, gaining weight as he should, hearing and vision tests were fine, no colic. The doctor assured us that this was just his temperament and that it would eventually subside. But what do you do when you know deep down in your gut, that there may be something else going on?
I began to research on the internet what may be some of the causes of his irritability and as the months went by, what milestones should he have arrived at. Because he was so young, about three months at this point, there wasn’t much information that could help give me a definitive answer. I remember once when he was about four months, when dropping him off at the baby sitter I said “bye” to him and I could’ve sworn he said “bye” back. But after that, it would be a very long time before he would audibly speak words again.
Fast forward many months later, he reached many pediatric milestones like sitting up, rolling over, scooting, crawling, even walking. But talking was not one of them. When someone was speaking to him, he would turn and focus his attention on them, but he would not necessarily respond. While he did display emotions such as being happy, sad, and upset, I began to document his behaviors as I became increasingly concerned.
By the time he had reached fifteen months old, I had a running lists of concerns. Throwing tantrums excessively, not speaking in 2-3 word phrases, seemed to enjoy playing alone, grunting, and using hand gestures instead of trying to articulate his needs. We began to have real concerns that he was not on track developmentally.
If you have ever experienced anything like this, at times it can be downright scary! And if I’m being honest, I was. But, what I am so glad that I didn’t do was allow that fear to make me lose hope or paralyze me. I pressed through the fear and took it to God in prayer. Although I was anxious about the situation, I had to remind myself that the God I serve was so much bigger than any problem I faced. Philippians 4:6-7 KJV says, ” Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
And I did exactly that. Anytime I felt myself getting anxious about our son’s development, I read and reread that scripture time and time again to get this concept in my spirit. Doing this reassured me that if I took my concerns to God humbly and earnestly in prayer, and being thankful for what He has already done, also being thankful for what He was about to do-that God promised that His peace, the kind the goes beyond all one could imagine would guard my heart and my mind concerning the situation.
This led to days of such settling peace as we watched the process play out. God even gave me a dream where I saw my son a few years in the future engaging in conversations with me talking my head off! This was a vision of my son that my natural eyes could not see. All of this, praying to God in as honest of a way that I knew how, acknowledging all of my concerns, and being thankful while doing so, led to an increased faith and trust in God as my provider. It reminded me that God cares about what I care about and that He wants the best for me, my husband, and our children.
There is NO need that God cannot fill. Of course at the time I had many needs, I especially needed answers to what was going on with our son; however, the most urgent need at the time, God filled. The need to have peace in the midst of uncertainty. When I acknowledged my need for Him in the situation, He showed up by giving me a dream to hold onto for future reference. So that no matter what my natural eyes were seeing, I could hold on to the promise He showed me in the dream. This in turn, gave me the peace that I so desperately needed. I needed to know that in the end, everything was in God’s hands and that no matter the outcome, it would be alright.
You can find this same peace too. When you pray to God about your source of anxiety, you are inviting Him into your situation. God is a gentleman. He will not force his way into your circumstance. He wants to be invited. Once you acknowledge that you need His help, the Word from His mouth goes forth to address it. Psalm 55 talks about God giving ear to our prayers and supplications. It says that if we cast our burden upon the Lord, He will sustain us.
Also, Isaiah 55:10-11a KJV says, ” For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace.”
Hold on to your faith and know that God is working all things for your good and for your child’s good. God has already decreed and spoken over your child’s life. When God gives you a vision for your child, hold onto it. Write it down. The Bible says in Habakkuk 2:2-3 KJV, “Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, the he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.”
The vision that God gives you for your child will come to pass. When you write it down, you can go back and read it and encourage yourself when you feel yourself getting discouraged. The scripture says so that he may run who reads it! Rejoice and praise God in advance for what is to come! Knowing that though it may not be in the foreseeable future, it will come to pass.
I encourage you to hold on to your vision and cast your burden on God. He will sustain you, give you peace, and make the burden much easier to bear.
God’s Grace Be With You,
Nikki